Click below to hear the audio version of 'Love by Alliteration'.
| hannah_goe_-_love_by_alliteration.mp3 |
Love by Alliteration
He’s ridiculously romantic
(He refuses to be realistic)
He’s hopelessly heartfelt
(I hate it)
He sent me sunflowers Sunday
(I simply sneered)
He leaves me lots of love letters
(I like them a little)
His kisses are kind and caring
(It’s crazy; I’m starting to care)
No way. Now I’m a non-non-believer
(NOO!!!)
How the heck has he done that?
(Hm…)
Lately, I’ve looked like a lost loser
(‘Cause I like him a lot)
(He refuses to be realistic)
He’s hopelessly heartfelt
(I hate it)
He sent me sunflowers Sunday
(I simply sneered)
He leaves me lots of love letters
(I like them a little)
His kisses are kind and caring
(It’s crazy; I’m starting to care)
No way. Now I’m a non-non-believer
(NOO!!!)
How the heck has he done that?
(Hm…)
Lately, I’ve looked like a lost loser
(‘Cause I like him a lot)
A Movie That Could Make the Cthulhu Cry
The phone rang as I was about to leave the house. "Hold on," I said to Samantha, who was impatiently waiting by the door.
"Hello?"
"Hannah, this is Mary, I-"
"Hurry up!" My best friend called from the porch. I shushed her, then resumed talking to Mary.
"Hi Mary. What's up?"
"I want the group to go to the movies with me. Ryan, Sam, Robert, Jamie, and you."
"I can probably go. When? What movie?"
"Two o'clock. It's called Insidious."
"Oh! Is that the one with George Clooney?" I really hoped it was.
"Uh... Yeah. Sure." She seemed to be hiding something. "Is Sam with you? I thought I heard her yell..."
"Yeah, hang on." I shouted to Sam, "MOVIE. MARY. TWO O’CLOCK. GEORGE CLOONEY. YOU IN?"
"YEAH! I LOVE GEORGE CLOONEY! BUT I'M NOT GETTING THE SKITTLES THIS TIME!" She screamed back.
"We're both in. See you at two!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As it turned out, only the females of the group were able to go. Mary's parents dropped us off at the old theater. Two years prior, this had been the only movie theater in our town, but a big one had moved in and received most customers. We liked going here because the tickets were cheap and each show room was usually nearly empty. We paid for our tickets, (only three dollars each!) and bought snacks. The three of us shared a huge popcorn, and I shared my drink with Sam. "We ain't scared of no cooties!" she cried when an old woman glared disapprovingly at us. After getting the giant sized Skittles, (it was a tradition,) we walked towards the show room.
We choose three of the best seats, seeing that the only other people in the theater were a teenage couple passionately making out, a few single adults, and a group of three teenage girls about our age. Before the credits even started rolling, the girls yelled "Shut up!" at us in what they thought was awesome unison. We glared in reply. The theater went black. "I love George Clooney!" I squealed quietly. Suddenly, the word "INSIDIOUS" burst across the black screen in a color sickeningly close to blood.
The first scene started with a woman showing her son pictures of him when he was a baby. I figured that George Clooney must play her husband. As the film wore on, it became obvious that this was, in fact, not a George Clooney movie. We watched as a child's soul was stolen, demons invaded the family's home, (twice!) and a psychic was killed. That doesn't begin to describe the horror of watching a disembodied hand protrude from a drawer, a soulless monster with a shotgun, a creature with a Gene Simmons-style tongue, and, of course, the 'Man with fire on his face' sharpening his daggers to the tune of Tiny Tim's 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips.'
Mary and Sam, who usually pull pranks on me while we watch scary movies, were petrified as well. The three of us huddled together in our seats, hoping that no demon was behind us. The popcorn was forgotten, but the skittles became our sort of security blanket. Inevitably, I started choking on the tasty rainbow. “CRHCK! CRHCK!” Mary and Sam looked at me, horrified, mouths gaping, wringing their hands in fear. I heard them whisper “Oh my God! She’s possessed!” After getting another synchronized "Shut up!" courtesy of the same chicks, I was able to subdue the noise of my death.
As the husband (not played by George Clooney, unfortunately,) was sucked into a terrifying climax, Mary left to get a soda refill. Unaware of the horrors that were shown on that screen during those five minutes, I'm sure she slept soundly that night. Unlike Mary, Sam and I endured watching what may have been the most horrifying movie ever. Scared out of our wits, we shared the earphones of my IPod that was blaring happy songs. I would have shut my eyes and enjoyed the melody of ‘Baby Bumblebee,’ but I was frozen, my pupils pasted to the horror flick. I attempted to block the paranormal noises of the movie that would give even the Cthulhu nightmares. Monsters were feasting messily upon mortal souls, creepy phantoms were being haunted by even creepier phantoms, and the Satanic demon that stole the child’s soul in the first place materialized from seemingly nowhere, for the sole purpose of putting us all into cardiac arrest. “OH-MY-GOD-DON’T-SNEAK-UP-ON-ME!” Sam and I shrieked in unison when Mary appeared as suddenly as the demon.
After 103 minutes of this, the dark screen read “INSIDIOUS” in that crimson color once more. The terror was over. Shaking, with our hearts pounding like drums, the three of us trembled all the way back to the car. Our eyes were wide in fear; our pupils were tiny from the dramatic change from darkness to light. We hardly spoke at all. Finally, we arrived back to our own neighborhood. We sat in front of Sam’s house and let the movie sink in. Every sudden noise made us jump, every person walking by as we sat on the curb made us suspicious. I’m never seeing another movie Mary suggests. I had thought to myself. She said it had George Clooney just to deceive me. It was an insidious plan that will entrap my mind into this nightmare forever.
"Hannah?" Mary started timidly, breaking the fearful silence.
"Yes?" I responded skeptically.
"You pick the movie next time. That sucked. I want to see George Clooney’s new one."
"Hello?"
"Hannah, this is Mary, I-"
"Hurry up!" My best friend called from the porch. I shushed her, then resumed talking to Mary.
"Hi Mary. What's up?"
"I want the group to go to the movies with me. Ryan, Sam, Robert, Jamie, and you."
"I can probably go. When? What movie?"
"Two o'clock. It's called Insidious."
"Oh! Is that the one with George Clooney?" I really hoped it was.
"Uh... Yeah. Sure." She seemed to be hiding something. "Is Sam with you? I thought I heard her yell..."
"Yeah, hang on." I shouted to Sam, "MOVIE. MARY. TWO O’CLOCK. GEORGE CLOONEY. YOU IN?"
"YEAH! I LOVE GEORGE CLOONEY! BUT I'M NOT GETTING THE SKITTLES THIS TIME!" She screamed back.
"We're both in. See you at two!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As it turned out, only the females of the group were able to go. Mary's parents dropped us off at the old theater. Two years prior, this had been the only movie theater in our town, but a big one had moved in and received most customers. We liked going here because the tickets were cheap and each show room was usually nearly empty. We paid for our tickets, (only three dollars each!) and bought snacks. The three of us shared a huge popcorn, and I shared my drink with Sam. "We ain't scared of no cooties!" she cried when an old woman glared disapprovingly at us. After getting the giant sized Skittles, (it was a tradition,) we walked towards the show room.
We choose three of the best seats, seeing that the only other people in the theater were a teenage couple passionately making out, a few single adults, and a group of three teenage girls about our age. Before the credits even started rolling, the girls yelled "Shut up!" at us in what they thought was awesome unison. We glared in reply. The theater went black. "I love George Clooney!" I squealed quietly. Suddenly, the word "INSIDIOUS" burst across the black screen in a color sickeningly close to blood.
The first scene started with a woman showing her son pictures of him when he was a baby. I figured that George Clooney must play her husband. As the film wore on, it became obvious that this was, in fact, not a George Clooney movie. We watched as a child's soul was stolen, demons invaded the family's home, (twice!) and a psychic was killed. That doesn't begin to describe the horror of watching a disembodied hand protrude from a drawer, a soulless monster with a shotgun, a creature with a Gene Simmons-style tongue, and, of course, the 'Man with fire on his face' sharpening his daggers to the tune of Tiny Tim's 'Tiptoe Through the Tulips.'
Mary and Sam, who usually pull pranks on me while we watch scary movies, were petrified as well. The three of us huddled together in our seats, hoping that no demon was behind us. The popcorn was forgotten, but the skittles became our sort of security blanket. Inevitably, I started choking on the tasty rainbow. “CRHCK! CRHCK!” Mary and Sam looked at me, horrified, mouths gaping, wringing their hands in fear. I heard them whisper “Oh my God! She’s possessed!” After getting another synchronized "Shut up!" courtesy of the same chicks, I was able to subdue the noise of my death.
As the husband (not played by George Clooney, unfortunately,) was sucked into a terrifying climax, Mary left to get a soda refill. Unaware of the horrors that were shown on that screen during those five minutes, I'm sure she slept soundly that night. Unlike Mary, Sam and I endured watching what may have been the most horrifying movie ever. Scared out of our wits, we shared the earphones of my IPod that was blaring happy songs. I would have shut my eyes and enjoyed the melody of ‘Baby Bumblebee,’ but I was frozen, my pupils pasted to the horror flick. I attempted to block the paranormal noises of the movie that would give even the Cthulhu nightmares. Monsters were feasting messily upon mortal souls, creepy phantoms were being haunted by even creepier phantoms, and the Satanic demon that stole the child’s soul in the first place materialized from seemingly nowhere, for the sole purpose of putting us all into cardiac arrest. “OH-MY-GOD-DON’T-SNEAK-UP-ON-ME!” Sam and I shrieked in unison when Mary appeared as suddenly as the demon.
After 103 minutes of this, the dark screen read “INSIDIOUS” in that crimson color once more. The terror was over. Shaking, with our hearts pounding like drums, the three of us trembled all the way back to the car. Our eyes were wide in fear; our pupils were tiny from the dramatic change from darkness to light. We hardly spoke at all. Finally, we arrived back to our own neighborhood. We sat in front of Sam’s house and let the movie sink in. Every sudden noise made us jump, every person walking by as we sat on the curb made us suspicious. I’m never seeing another movie Mary suggests. I had thought to myself. She said it had George Clooney just to deceive me. It was an insidious plan that will entrap my mind into this nightmare forever.
"Hannah?" Mary started timidly, breaking the fearful silence.
"Yes?" I responded skeptically.
"You pick the movie next time. That sucked. I want to see George Clooney’s new one."
Einstein Had No Valentine
You’ll never know just what we’re trying to say,
My kind has never been good with words.
Yet we’re forced to deal with it from day to day,
Because love does not come easily to nerds.
We’re great with long division and comic books
Dungeon Masters and Trekkies all know
Our brains most define surpass our looks.
With all this, how can a geek find a beau?
Nerds weren’t born for the rose and pearl.
Rutherford never knew love, and neither shall we,
Until this world’s stereotypes burn.
And people see how awesome geeks can be.
Then, many a modern teen will learn,
That it is for a geek that their hearts do yearn.
My kind has never been good with words.
Yet we’re forced to deal with it from day to day,
Because love does not come easily to nerds.
We’re great with long division and comic books
Dungeon Masters and Trekkies all know
Our brains most define surpass our looks.
With all this, how can a geek find a beau?
Nerds weren’t born for the rose and pearl.
Rutherford never knew love, and neither shall we,
Until this world’s stereotypes burn.
And people see how awesome geeks can be.
Then, many a modern teen will learn,
That it is for a geek that their hearts do yearn.